all the big things

A few weeks back I sensed that Marigold was on the cusp of change.

This past week she’s been hot and bothered, gnawing on anything she can get in her mouth (including my nipple), only happy if she’s in my arms and cat napping like the best of them. A big change from her usual settled, contended self. Little teeth are moving about and we’re waiting, waiting for them to pop through.

Developmental shifts usually have a domino effect and so unsurprisingly, although very pleasingly, Percy has toilet trained and started sleeping through the night in his own bed. A week of firsts.

Yes, you read that right. He slept through the night for the first time at 2 years and 11 months. Unsettled sleep, night terrors and shared pillows have been the norm for a while now and yet I knew, we all knew, that it would eventually pass. So we summoned patience, cuddled in the depths of the dark and woke with saw necks and aching backs. When Daniel and I found it particularly challenging, we reminded ourselves that it wasn’t going to be forever; adding stress to the situation was never going to help.

And then there’s the big two who started a new school year; Year 5 (I know!) and Year 1. New situations can be challenging, even for my very sociable Poet, so yesterday there were tears and this morning her teacher had to peel her off my leg. We spoke about how big change can be hard but we’ve decided to be brave.

I admit, I peered around the corner as she walked into the classroom, her pigtails bouncing, my heart racing.

And then morning coffee, my salve, turned awry when Percy put up the umbrella that subsequently knocked my coffee over my bag, feet and the floor. Marigold was in the sling, a kind gentleman helped me with my bag and I asked Percy to sit down and stay still so I could clean up. I went to the counter to get napkins and order another coffee which was when a stranger offered to buy it for me. And then I cried because genuine kindness from an empathetic mother was exactly what I needed in that moment. I comforted Percy who was crying on the floor, grabbed my coffee and hightailed it home.

This is the depths of motherhood; physically and emotionally cradling children through all the big things.

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Showing 5 comments
  • Mary

    I read your blog regularly but have never commented. I was so moved today. I have four children, 18, 16, 10, and 6, and we, my husband and I still hold them in times of change, unfortunately they don’t seek the comfort we can provide as often. Enjoy.

  • Ronnie

    All my love, Jodi. I love these little glimpses into your life.
    Ronnie xo

  • kate

    Such a silver lining to a tough day.

  • Nikki

    thankyou Jodi for your honesty and for sharing your vulnerability with us. I was right there with you in this post, tears springing to my eyes because we’ve all been there in one way or another. Sol took 5 years to sleep through the night and 2 years to settle in to school but somehow I managed to just keep finding the love and patience to get us both through to the other side. Much love, Nikki x

  • Daniela

    Funny how some of us are leaving a comment here today for the first time. That is because you have moved us mothers who are reading your words from everywhere all over the world. I am writing this comment sitting on my desk in Germany and have tears in my eyes.
    Thank you so much for your words and wisdom and emotions!

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